Would you say any of the following to a friend…
You are such an idiot
You can’t do anything right
I can’t believe you are so stupid
You are pathetic excuse for a human being
You look so fat and ugly in that dress
Somehow I doubt that most people would dare say any of those things to anyone they know, much less love. So, why do people say those things to and about themselves?
I have been stunned this week at the number of times I have heard people say these exact statements to or about themselves…and sometimes more than once in just a few minute span! I wonder about the rest of the time when no one is listening?! How can some of the kindest people we know, say such un-kind things to themselves, whether it be out loud or inward?
The power of self talk: When we really begin to hear our own thoughts about self and other, it can be very humbling and actually shocking at the same time. The power of negative self talk can drastically affect our physiology, keeping us stuck in fight our flight patterns and creating all sorts of contractive symptoms. Begin to pay attention to the connection between your internal commentary and what is showing up in your life. Once we become aware of our own self talk, without judgement, we can begin to create the change necessary to soften the edges of our resistances between what we desire and what is available for us.
Love ourselves, quirks and all: We are so human aren’t we? We have been trained and taught to create these defense mechanisms so we don’t ‘get too big for our britches’ or to ‘keep our pride in check’, that we end up bashing ourselves with great ease at any opportunity where we could actually shine our greatness. What’s up with that? Once you recognize your actions, take a moment to love yourself anyway…quirks and all…then shift to something that will serve you better such as ‘I am kind, loving and forgiving’. Through personal experience, even saying a statement such as this with sarcasm, annoyance or rolled eyes, consistently, creates a vibrational shift.
Giggle at your humanity: Have a friend give you a word, sign or look whenever you do that negative self-talk, and do the same for him/her…with love and not judgement. Consistently recognizing when we ‘do that thing’, then shifting to a new thought, statement or perspective, helps to create a new pattern to stop ‘doing that thing’ that is actually hurting or limiting us on an energetic level. Learning to shift with a giggle or a loving pat on the back helps to stay aligned with your humanity rather than getting stuck in some programmed ‘shoulda’ belief that you are less than this, that, or the other thing.
Here’s to becoming your own best friend and communicating differently with yourself throught grace, love and JOY! You are so worth it so believe it!